JD's ideas for cuts

Hi guys--

Lydia and Chloe are out at a birthday for a few hours, so I thought I'd take a whack at identifying some possible cuts. We have to get rid of 9 pages!

In my notes here, I am referencing the draft I forwarded from Danielle Aquiline yesterday ("DyehouseEtAl.Dec07. . . ").

p1: fix Shamoon bio formatting--it looks like it isn't adjusted to the current margins. Savings: 1 line

pp1-2: cut the first paragraph of our article, which merely repeats our abstract. I suppose that we would have to cut the first heading, too. Savings: .5 page

p10: cut the big block quote from Starr. This would mean revising the second half of this paragraph to eliminate its reliance on that quote. Savings: .5 page

pp12-13: cut the paragraph describing WRT 106 and community service writing. (I know: we added this for the reviewers. But as I read the ms., I am not seeing how this particular paragraph adds anything.) Savings: .5 page

p14: "Last semester"--ha ha! No real savings here, but we do have to change it.

pp16-17: cut the paragraph detailing the "roles and identities" focus of the course's 3rd iteration. I like this paragraph, but I think we can do without it. Savings: .5 page.

pp19-20: cut the first paragraph of the "Teaching Writing Environments" section. Savings: .5 page

pp22-24: cut figure 1 and the paragraph that explains it. If we do this, we'll have to quickly summarize the ideas that students are working with in the paragraph beginning "In class, the discussion begins with the emphases diagram. . . " Or perhaps we'll have to rework this whole little section. Still, it may be worth it. . . Savings: 1.5 pages.

p26: cut the Yancey invocation paragraph. Savings: .25 page

p29: rewrite our acknowledgments as a first endnote. Savings: .75 page

pp31-32: cut endnotes 9, 10, and 11 (on existing collaboration stations, on figure 1's "risks," and on the B.A.'s required courses). Savings: .75 page

pp33-38: cut citations no longer needed and "archival" citations of course documents (plus updating our MLA citation style to eliminate URLs) Savings: .5 page

p39: cut redundant biography paragraphs (in Danielle's ms., they appear on the manuscript's first page) Savings: 1 page

If I've estimated the savings correctly, these cuts would rid us of 7.25 pages. What do you think?

Thanks for considering--

J